Who’s afraid of the imposter monster?

We all have things we fear; things that make us want to run and hide. Snakes, the dark, clowns, another interest rate hike, or even your mother-in-law. We all have our quirks in this regard, but one fear that many of us share is the fear of being found wanting, the fear of looking like an imposter.

Impostor syndrome is an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be, as if you are a fraud. The fear lies in being found out, so we spend lots of energy trying to pretend like we always know exactly what we are doing.

Imposter syndrome has recently received a lot of airtime. I am not exactly sure why we have only recently put a name to this experience since it has been around forever. Perhaps it has something to do with the pandemic and everyone having to navigate uncertainty like never before? I cannot be sure. But what I am sure of is that it is not an isolated experience and a lot more common than we may think.

A lot of the articles and talks on the topic are negatively skewed, which is understandable but unfortunate. This got me thinking of growth. I am in the privileged position to, for the second time, see a little human learn to walk. She hasn’t once stopped and said: “What if they realise I can’t do it?” Growth stems directly from discomfort, which is coupled with uncertainty and fear. 

This led me to a Google search for the definition of growth: “it is the process of developing physically, mentally, or spiritually or the process of increasing in amount, value, or importance.” Quite a mouthful, but all clearly impossible without feeling a little out of your depth. It reminds me of a beautiful quote by an unknown author: “A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there”.

I fear that we have given this form of discomfort a name and decided that it is something to be avoided. I don’t agree with this perspective (she typed while wondering whether she knows what she is talking about). Imposter syndrome is less about a fear of failure and more about a fear of being discovered or found out as a fraud. What makes this experience really unsettling is that most of us believe we are the only ones who have it.

Not so!

• Successful people also experience imposter syndrome and feel like frauds sometimes (if not most of the time).

• You are not alone in your experience.

There’s no need to avoid it or to feel ashamed about it. Rather, we should be mindful of when we experience it and identify the feeling as a signpost to an opportunity to drive growth, innovation and change.

Here are my four simple steps for using imposter syndrome as a force for good:

1. Talk about it: You are not alone in your experience. When we connect with others and authentically share our experiences, we realise that our feelings of inadequacy are not unusual. Ask for help when you need it and aim to grow through your experience.

2. Don’t question your worth: The most successful people also experience imposter syndrome, but they clearly separate their self-worth from this experience by questioning their ideas, knowledge and competence rather than their value or identity.

3. Keep the conversation going: Stay present when you recognise the imposter monster and keep it at bay by facing it head-on. Ask questions, talk and listen.

4. Fake it till you make it: Use it as a motivator to learn. There is no better motivator for innovation and creative thinking than having your back to a wall and having to find a way out.

For example, if you’re currently looking for a new role, don’t just apply for those positions that you are overqualified to fulfil. Rather, go after those positions that would require you to grow. Lean into the discomfort; learn, adapt, and become more.

Today, I challenge you to face the monster and let the imposter come out and play.