The power of “No”

One syllable; two letters, yet one of the most difficult phrases to say sometimes.

Has someone ever asked you to do something that you didn't want to do or didn’t have the capacity to do? Let me guess, instead of politely declining, you immediately blurted out “Yeah sure, no problem!” Don’t worry, you’re not alone. 

Saying or receiving a “no” is often associated with feelings of awkwardness, guilt, rejection, or disappointment. In fact, many people agree to things only to please others, avoid confrontation, or because of their fear of missing out. 

Contrary to what you may think, saying “no” can actually be a good thing. That’s not to suggest you should reject every request that comes your way, but learning to say “no” can protect your mental wellbeing by helping you:

• Set boundaries with friends, family, and colleagues.

• Prioritise space each day for what you need or want to do.

• Minimise work-related stress and eventual burnout. 

• Produce work of higher quality by focusing on one task at a time. 

• Avoid being in a situation where you feel uncomfortable. 

The next time you’re faced with a dilemma of wanting to say “no” but feeling hesitant to do so, try one of these suggestions:

1. Start and end with a positive while placing the rejection in between. For example, start by thanking the individual for the invitation or offering you the opportunity and end by suggesting an alternative date or solution to the request.

2. Reflect on why you’d like to say “no” and share this reasoning. If you’d prefer to skip out on social plans and have a personal day instead, or if you are overloaded with work tasks and don’t have the capacity for anything extra, say so. Chances are, the requester will appreciate your honesty.

3. Communicate your decision clearly. Hesitating leaves room for persuasion and may have you giving in to the request, despite not wanting to. Be assertive, but remain respectful. 

You are the only person who can control your life decisions, so it’s best to exercise that control wisely. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup - take care of yourself first.